talkingaboutcancer.com

In the midst of a battle with cancer, we often find ourselves wishing for something that makes others think we are going a little batty.  It is important for all of us to understand that things are just not very simple at times.

Case in point.  In my personal cancer journey, I live with the knowledge and expectation of further metastases.  New lesions will likely occur in the bones and, based on previous experience, will hurt like hell.  So naturally, I expect to experience bone pain that will steadily grow over time.  I also look for increases in my PSA which is an indication that the cancer is actively growing somewhere.  When one or both of these occur, then I will undergo a bone scan and, if necessary, an MRI.

For quite a while now, I have been living with a growing pain in my right rear sacrum area which I thought was very suspicious.  In August, a bone scan and x-ray showed no indication of new mets and my PSA was still undetectable.  With the pain continuing, I had an MRI in October and am still waiting for the results.  Meanwhile, my PSA has started to rise.

So here it is.  I want the MRI to show something.  I want to see a metastatic lesion.  Does that sound strange?  A few people I said this to looked at me like I was nuts.  But here is my reasoning….

I have metastatic cancer that is incurable.  It will spread.  I don’t like it, but I know it.  All I can really do is to treat the pain (and do some chemo to help strengthen my bones a bit).  This means taking more and more morphine as required.  But, I can also have radiation therapy on the site if we can see it. Radiation therapy will reduce the pain and might even stop that particular spot from growing much more.  But so far, since nothing has shown, we can’t treat it and I have to live with a pain that is increasing daily (it seems) and have to take more morphine, which has all sorts of side effects that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  If the MRI shows something, then we can pinpoint the new lesion and treat it.  If it doesn’t, well…. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  I sure hope we find something.

Make sense?

Posted by Doug 

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As a young woman I watch Charley’s Angels religiously.  I loved all the women in it and the fact that they were shown as strong women at the time was wonderful to see.  I thought Farrah Fawcett was so beautiful…as did millions of others.  The beauty I saw then was on the outside, but when I watched the Farrah Fawcett Story her true inner beauty came out.  I’m sure its not easy in Hollywood to come out and say, hey I have cancer, and by the way, its anal cancer…my heart went out to her and her family through her long and tough journey with cancer.  Farrah showed both strength and softness throughout her entire journey.  She was so blessed to have her friend Alana Stewart and her family to share the journey with her.  Sometimes I hear people talk about someone with cancer in a hushed tone and say they feel “sorry” for them.  Farrah showed that she had a full life in spite of her cancer and I felt she wouldn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her.  I felt she experienced some of the worst times of her life and some of the best times of her life.  I applaud her for sharing her difficult journey and giving an awareness to all about anal cancer.  Her death in June of 2009 was a sad loss.

I also grew up watching Patrick Swayze develop as an actor. He was a wonderful actor and from the sounds of it also a truly wonderful husband.  He was another actor that was very handsome.  I loved him in Ghost…who didn’t.  When he passed away in September of 2009 it was also a sad loss.  My heart goes out to his wonderful wife and I thank them both for their openness about their journey and the fact that he never gave up.

Sharing your life with the masses is not easy, I’m sure.  The gift of awareness that they both gave about their kinds of cancer is priceless.  My wish to them now it that they are at peace and where they want to be.  I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Posted by Dianne

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I am very, very happy to tell you that my new book, The Wolf at my Door, will be available for ordering shortly through this site and most on-line bookstores. 

I love to write and, throughout my cancer journey, I kept a meticulous journal of every bit of news, every treatment, every side effect and every moment of fear, sadness and occasionally joy.  I decided to write this book in the same spirit of this blog – to share the tremendous emotional ups and downs that go hand in hand with being diagnosed and living with cancer.  It is written for anyone with any type of cancer and for their loved ones who share the emotional disease that is just as devastating as the physical disease.

Stay tuned and think about what kind of Christmas gift you could get for the cancer patient who has everything!

I think you will like it.

Posted by Doug

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