talkingaboutcancer.com » Fresh Starts

Jamaica Vacation – a break from cancer – sort of….

Postmaster — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:16:00 +0000

Hi everyone. Dianne again (Doug’s wife). We went to Jamaica with our daughter (our son could not go … he lives in Jasper) to attend a family wedding. I decided that I really wanted to surprise Doug in Jamaica and renew our vows…so I set out with my best friend (really my sister) Gayla and make all the advance preparations …minister…rings…etc. As it was Gayla’s son Gbengha getting married I had the help of his fiancée Liza to make the arrangements. Women are wonderful at espionage and secret keeping. I ordered new matching wedding bands and had them enscribed with “Always and Forever” (that took 2 months of waiting) and paid by cheque the day before we left for Jamaica…I knew Doug would be doing banking the night before we left and couldn’t leave a money trail. This was very hard work on my part. I told Doug we were attending the rehearsal of the bride and groom’s wedding…and that only a handfull of people were invited. The minister knew that Doug had no idea that this was going to happen…nor did our daughter Caralia until the night before when my friend Gayla asked her to be the ring bearer. Caralia was quite excited. On the day of our vow renewal ceremony we went to the pool, relaxed, swam and Doug wanted to go to the rehearsal in his bathing suit…no shower…he said “no one will notice me”. I responded that we should be dressed properly just in case pictures were being taken…he was not a happy camper but being the great man he is he said “o.k. Honey”. As we walked to the area on the beach where the so called rehearsal was Doug heard the Minister say his name and asked me…why does he know my name! I responded…Oh Honey, he knows everyone’s name that is invited…and he accepted my response. I was getting so excited as we approached the Minister. Doug talked to some of our friends there and I walked up to the Minister and informed him that Doug still did not know anything about the events that were about to happen…the Minister chuckled, walked over to Doug … shook his hand and said “Hey Mon. I’m Renewing your vows today”. Doug looked shocked and everyone else laughed. We stood facing each other, looking into each others eyes unaware of anything else but each other and repeated our vows “all over again”. I felt the breeze on my face, the sand at my feet, the sweet smell of the ocean, the warm sun on my face, the love all around me and my small hands held in his looking into his smiling eyes and life was good once again. A day I will never forget. Doug was speechless and anyone who knows Doug knows this is hard to achieve… We renewed our vows on Thursday April 15 2010…we were married on July 23 1977. For a moment in time it was just Doug and me and no cancer…

Posted by Dianne

Moving On?

Postmaster — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:22:36 +0000

A cancer diagnosis and the treatment regime can take a huge chunk out of your life, but can also be a profoundly life-changing experience. It was certainly both of these for me and for many, many cancer survivors who I have spoken with. But from time to time, I run into someone who says something like, “I’m just going to have the treatment and then move on – get on with my life – get back to normal.” In some cases I think it could be denial, or maybe they just don’t realize how it will impact them but, sometimes, I wonder if some people really have the ability to just push it back and move on, unchanged in any profound way. Or maybe they really believe they can, but it hangs there, festering under the surface until it erupts in some way.

It’s rare for cancer to be really “over”. There’s the possibility or the fear of recurrence; there may be ongoing side effects or permanent scars – physical or emotional. At the very least, you have been through a “life event”, a medical crisis, a fear-evoking trauma that changes most people.

Can you really just pack it away? And I wonder if I should be jealous of someone who can just put it behind them (if that’s true). What do you think?

Posted by Doug

Pushing The Edge

Postmaster — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:12:35 +0000

Pushing the edge reminds me of how I felt at the end of my long ordeal on chemotherapy. I had no hair, few white blood cells, very low iron stores and one less boob. I was at the edge of life. I don’t think that my body would have tolerated another bout of chemo. There had already been numerous treatment complications such as fevers with low blood counts and various infections that could have done me in.But a year later I had hair, lots of white blood cells and plenty of iron. My color returned to normal and I had my energy back full force. I was absolutely amazed at my body’s ability to recuperate from such harsh treatment.

Since my cancer diagnosis, I have taken up running. I’ve given up my couch potato lifestyle and joined those crazy runners/joggers that you see pounding the pavement in all kinds of weather. I’m in my runners 3-4 times each and every week.

I have rarely had the enthusiasm for anything “sport-like” so I am frankly surprised that I have been so persistent in this activity. I was a fat kid and pretty clumsy. But I have been pushing the edge of my abilities since I began 3 years ago.

It occurred to me today that I push myself to run longer and faster just so I can see what else this old body can amaze me with. Another part of me runs because it feels so good to do it. And if I’m really honest with myself, I bet I’m really trying to run away from the demon that lives inside me that is called recurrence.

How do you try to push the edge? What are you running away from?

Let’s talk.

Posted by Ruth