There’s something about the word CANCER. When we hear that someone has cancer (regardless of the type or the prognosis) we drop our shoulders, tilt our heads and go, “Ooooohhhhh.” When we hear that we have cancer, our heart stops and we become deer in the headlights, imagining all of the horrors that we will be faced with - sugery, radiation, chemotherapy, weakness……. death. A lot of this is just ignorance, because few people know much about the 200+ kinds of cancer, staging, etc., but some of it is just the fact that the word itself has become synonymous with disease and, yes, with death. I see this all the time in the way that people react to the fact of my cancer, in the way they talk about it. People say, “you’ll be fine,” but they don’t know; they just want to make you feel better - or maybe it makes them feel better. I try to explain, as simply as I can, what is going on with me so they can understand the context of my feelings. For the most part, people take it well, even if they don’t know what to say, and I feel better for the sharing. But we have a long way to go.
This blog strives to help people understand the emotional impact of cancer so that they can be supportive and give strength to their friends and loved ones with cancer. For cancer survivors and those with cancer, it can show that they are not alone and they can derive strength from others who have been in their shoes.
I believe that anyone faced with a life-threatening illness experiences many of the same emotional stresses but that over-reaching specter of cancer adds another dimension by enveloping everyone close to us with a shared fear. This is why knowledge and understanding are so important. The doctors can fight the physical disease but we ourselves must fight the emotional disease by being open about what we are feeling and by helping others understand.
Cancer is not always a death sentence. It can be if it isn’t treated, but more than half the people diagnosed and treated will survive, some with little or no residual effect (at least physically). Rob Buckman discusses this in his book, Cancer is a word, not a sentence, by clearly explaining the impacts and outcomes of the different cancers. If we can better understand this and help others to understand, perhaps we can lessen the emotional stress and the pervasive feeling of gloom that prevents us from dealing with it in a more realistic way.
So read through all of the posts and comments on this site and visit the links we have posted, and follow the links on those sites. Read the books that are recommended and lend them to your friends and family. There are many of us out here who want to help. Post your comments so we can all benefit from your experience and insight.
Let’s talk.
Posted by Doug
