talkingaboutcancer.com

Well, I finally stumped my psychologist!  Over the years, the support and advice I have received from him has been life-enhancing even if not exactly life-saving. It is characteristic of cancer that your life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, and times when you are lost in the uncertainty of the disease. There are times when you are thrilled at the results of a simple blood test because it tells you that something is working. And there are times when the news is so bad that you glimpse the darkest corners of despair. This is what it is to live with cancer and, if you are to get through the days with dignity and even a little happiness, you need help. While the love and support of your spouse and family can do a lot (I would be lost without mine), you need the objective help of a professional to help you deal with the difficult questions and to ask the questions you may be too afraid to ask yourself. I have been blessed to have someone like Andrew to fill this role for me over the past seven years. The advice he has given me has saved my soul. I talk a lot about this in my book, The Wolf at my Door.

I have been seeing him regularly since my recurrence and have always left his office with something, some little tidbit that shone a light into some dark corner  But the other day, I gave him little to work with, primarily since I have been following his advice all along. I do not obsess over the terminal nature of my illness (given the current state of science) but focus on trying to make the most of today.  I do not spend much time feeling sorry for myself because I know it won’t get me anywhere. I do not sit around moping about my physical issues but do whatever I can feasibly do and unabashedly ask for help when I need it.  I do not despair over a shortened lifespan, but work hard at my job and at making a difference in meaningful ways. I neither seek nor avoid sympathy, but accept well-intentioned wishes from others.

In summary, I’m doing the best I can with an overall positive and constructive attitude. What more or what else can I do? So while there is really nothing more that Andrew can do for me right now, it feels very good to know that I’m doing the right things. But I’m not letting go of him yet. As the saying goes, I’ve got miles to go before I sleep.

If you have cancer, do not be embarrassed to seek professional help. In fact, if you don’t think you need it, you probably do.

Posted by Doug

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