Loss and Change
May 22nd 2009PostmasterCoping & Family & Quality of Life
Hi there, it is Dianne sharing again. The first thing I must tell you is that Doug is not only a great husband and writer but also a fantastic “fix-it guy”…Mr. Perfection. My girl-friends were always jealous at how well he did a project for us (i.e. designing and making a southwestern adobe fireplace in our living room) and how quickly and effortlessly he completed it. If I purchased a new mirror or picture…it was up on the wall that night or the next. Since Doug’s recurrence and the overall affects of surgery, hormones, HIFU…etc. he has not had the energy or strength at the end of the day nor the desire to do these things.
In the grand scheme of things I know that having a picture hung quickly is no big deal but, when you have been the kind of guy who this is important to and you can no longer do things that way, it can be very frustrating. We now have to hire people to do the work that Doug used to do so easily. Sometimes the workmanship is lacking and he thinks, ”I could have done that better and quicker,” (and he is right). This, to him, I know is a loss and it breaks my heart to know he feels this loss. Sometimes I imagine cancer just taking away pieces of who you were (or perceived yourself to be) piece by piece. It not only takes away your health but a little piece of you every day in small slices.
I hate this disease with a passion and am mad at it for doing this to us. But the great gift that this awful disease has given Doug is both the ability and desire to help others suffering like he is through his writing and gifted ideas he shares on this blog and at conferences and just talking to those he cares about. He has always been a man that worked not only for his family but his community and now through this amazing site that he cares so passionately about.
Rock on Doug.
Posted by Dianne
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