Discomfort
Aug 15th 2008PostmasterFriends & Family
There is lots to be said about how friends and family take the news of a cancer diagnosis or recurrence. Lori Hope’s book (covered in a previous post) covers this topic nicely in terms of what cancer patients/survivors need to hear and what they don’t want to hear. But what worries me most, is how the people close to you respond to the bad news. While many rush to your side to support you, many shy away because they don’t know what to say or they are uncomfortable with the notion that you are sick or dying. Even family members find it hard to speak to you, even though they should be there faster than anyone. I understand this. It’s not something we have a lot of experience with and I know it’s uncomfortable. But, come on, this may be the most critical thing that has ever happened to someone, so it shouldn’t be simply avoided.
I’ve heard it said that, when you get cancer, you quickly learn who your real friends are and who really loves you. I think there is a lot of truth in that, however, I am sure that there are friends/family who do love you but just can’t deal with it. That’s about them, not the person with the cancer.
I say (and I mean this), if you really love someone, get over it! Pick up the phone or knock on their door and say simply, “Hi. I love you and I know this sucks, but I am here for you”. You would want nothing less. We are nothing without love and friendship.
Posted by Doug
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