Who do you remember?
Jul 12th 2008PostmasterFriends & Family & Grief
So many friends, relatives, work mates and loved ones are afflicted with cancer that it is hard to imagine that anyone over the age of twenty would not have had someone they know who survived or has died. For those who have lost someone, there is a hole in our hearts and the memories we cherish. There may also be sad memories of how the cancer ravaged their bodies and their minds in the late stages of their disease.
We hope that the departed are in some place better. We are left with our memories and our wondering of what might have been. And we are left more sensitive and more fearful to what cancer means and we can get much more personally familiar with it. Not necessarily what we want.
People support us, lift our spirits and help to define our own lives to some extent. The death of someone who you know can force you to question your own immortality, which can be good or bad depending on the individual.
But friends and loved ones who die can also inspire us and their memories can comfort us. The memories of my father do that for me.
Who do you remember and do you handle it?
Let’s talk……..
Posted by Doug
1 Comment »
Ruth on 14 Jul 2008 at 9:46 pm #
Good topic, Doug,
I remember my Aunt Joyce vividly. She died of the same cancer I had 2 years after her diagnosis. I thought that her fate was my fate when I was diagnosed. But time? and science? has made my experience with cancer different from hers and her family. I remember her with fond memories, not sadness.
My mom died of cancer too. At first I was frightened that I would never remember her - her voice - her hug - her smile. And it was so painful to think about those things and the fact that she was gone. But now I think of the good memories. Her silly-ness, her laugh, her love for all of us. When my brothers and I get together we fall into a repeating conversation: remember when Mom….., hahahahaha, and when you did ___ and Mom was so mad! (Which was interesting in itself because my mother never raised her voice. All it took was a frown to express to us that she was unhappy because she was rarely unhappy. Then we felt terribly guilty.)
You could say that cancer takes people we love away from us. But as the saying goes, no-one gets out of here alive! But nothing - not even cancer - can take away the good stuff. The fun, the frivolity, the laughter and the closeness that we have felt with the ones we love.
I try to take one day at a time. And I thank cancer for helping me to do that and to appreciate the here and now and sort through the garbage I can ignore. And know that time spent with loved ones and family is precious.