talkingaboutcancer.com

Happy Mother’s Day! This weekend was all about family and, like many others, we spent it together with my mother and my brother and his wife. It was great to be in the company of people who love you on a day that celebrates life. For me, this day had a special significance given the fight that I am in. Having cancer puts a whole new perspective on life and, in particular, what’s really important. Family is important. Love is very important. Knowing that people love you and care for you is one of the great gifts of life. But while I can bask in the love of my family and enjoy the day (as I now try to enjoy every single day), I know that there is a tension in the air.

I don’t really need to talk about it all the time, because I know that they care, but I know that it is on everyone’s mind. They want to say something, but they don’t know what to say, so it goes unsaid.  And while we enjoy our time together, laughing and reminiscing, all that is unspoken hangs in the air.  My wife calls it the elephant in the room.

All we really need is for our loved ones to ask, “How are you doing?” That is enough to show their concern and interest and leaves it to us to decide what to say and how much to say.  We can dive right in if that’s what we feel we want or need, or we can keep it short and sweet.  That takes the pressure off of everyone.  It doesn’t require more than that.

We are all in this together and we need to be open and communicate.  It is always tough to know what to say, but all you really need to do is ask.

Posted by Doug

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