talkingaboutcancer.com

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of my wife finally succumbed to cancer. She had lymphoma and, while everyone thought she had been doing well, she suddenly deteriorated and died. She was a few years younger than Dianne and I with a husband and children and she should have had many more years with them. But it was not to be. It was interesting how this affected us.

Dianne attended the visitation with several of the “girls” who had known this lady. She was sad at her passing, but it struck a much deeper cord because of her worry over my recurrence and what that could mean. It personalized it much more than her other friends realized and she came home under a dark cloud that held on for several days. I had thought of going with her that night, partly for support , but also as a sign of respect for the bravery of a fellow cancer patient, a short-term survivor but a survivor nonetheless. Dianne told me to stay home that night and I’m sorry to say that I am glad I did. Apparently, the family had chosen to have an open casket and the poor woman… well… she looked like she had died of cancer. It was an honorable thing for the family to do but it was harder for Dianne to see her that way because it vividly displayed the physical tole that cancer can have. And I’m sure that, in her mind’s eye, she could see me at some future date.

I’m glad I wasn’t there, and I’m sorry to say that. While I’m doing pretty well with my own situation, I think it would have brought back a lot of feelings that I have managed to get past. It might have scared me. As strong as I am, there is always fear and I don’t want to die before my time.

Rest in peace, Gail.

Posted by Doug

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