Moving On?
Dec 16th 2007PostmasterFresh Starts
A cancer diagnosis and the treatment regime can take a huge chunk out of your life, but can also be a profoundly life-changing experience. It was certainly both of these for me and for many, many cancer survivors who I have spoken with. But from time to time, I run into someone who says something like, “I’m just going to have the treatment and then move on – get on with my life – get back to normal.” In some cases I think it could be denial, or maybe they just don’t realize how it will impact them but, sometimes, I wonder if some people really have the ability to just push it back and move on, unchanged in any profound way. Or maybe they really believe they can, but it hangs there, festering under the surface until it erupts in some way.
It’s rare for cancer to be really “over”. There’s the possibility or the fear of recurrence; there may be ongoing side effects or permanent scars – physical or emotional. At the very least, you have been through a “life event”, a medical crisis, a fear-evoking trauma that changes most people.
Can you really just pack it away? And I wonder if I should be jealous of someone who can just put it behind them (if that’s true). What do you think?
Posted by Doug
1 Comment »
Fran on 06 Jan 2008 at 12:48 am #
Dear Doug,
If you find a way to “pack it away”, I want to be the first on the list to acquire your remedy. I have been treated as if I am “just fine” so many times, after the initial crisis of diagnosis and surgery. Then there was a complication that nearly did me in, a necrotic infection at the surgical site, which left me even more disfigured than was originally intended.
My fear is that I will be forgotten forever, because of physical limitaitons I cannot get out as often as I would like, and my friends stopped coming over long ago. Why? I ask myself that question, perhaps it is because of their own fear that they will “catch” it, or the reality that this can happen to any one of us — I am not sure what the reasons for the desertion, but it really hurts me to know those I trusted to be with me have been long gone for quite some time.
I have been thinking of a way to give back, to share my story with others, to help people to understand the emotional impact that comes with a cancer diagnosis. I have been writing for quite a while now, something I plan to evolve into a book to help to educate others on this aspect. If you have any ideas on how to address this, I am open to suggestion or criticism, but I believe if I can get my thoughts in order, I can make some impact.
I am so tired of hearing people say “You’re OK now, right?” I am not OK by any means physically, and especially emotionally. You seem to hit the nail on the head each time you write, and I thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront. I am so grateful to have found you, and feel I am making friends every time I read or write.
Thank you, Doug, for your insight and courage.
Fran