http://talkingaboutcancer.com/archives/28 Helping with the emotional impact of cancer. Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:32:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 http://talkingaboutcancer.com/archives/28#comment-52 Em Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:42:34 +0000 http://talkingaboutcancer.com/archives/28#comment-52 Having had breast cancer mets diagnosed in September after 2 years since original diagnosis I thought that I would be able to deal with it better this time. I was wrong - I think I've found it worse because I feel much less hope for the future this time around. Last time when they told me I was pretty stoic about it - sure I cried a hell of lot over the treatment period and after but this time I literally collapsed to my knees and wailed for over an hour. It's horrid, I hate it and I'm fighting all the time not to let my head think about all the implications. At the time, my oncologist said to me 'Let me fight the cancer, that's *my* job.' and I've actually found that really helpful to remember when things start to overwhelm me. My job is just to get through each day as best I can - whatever it takes, good day or bad. The other 'job' I farm out is hope. The oncology counsellor at my hospital said to me on another occasion - 'I'll be hopeful for you - I know that you can't see hope, you can't feel it - but I can be hopeful for you'. And that's a relief. I don't have to do it all myself - because lots of days don't feel very hopeful to me. So, for a moment - let me be hopeful for you - that your treatments are successful and give you lots more time. And keep up with the crying - i find it offloads lots of the physical tension! ;) Having had breast cancer mets diagnosed in September after 2 years since original diagnosis I thought that I would be able to deal with it better this time. I was wrong - I think I’ve found it worse because I feel much less hope for the future this time around. Last time when they told me I was pretty stoic about it - sure I cried a hell of lot over the treatment period and after but this time I literally collapsed to my knees and wailed for over an hour. It’s horrid, I hate it and I’m fighting all the time not to let my head think about all the implications.
At the time, my oncologist said to me ‘Let me fight the cancer, that’s *my* job.’ and I’ve actually found that really helpful to remember when things start to overwhelm me. My job is just to get through each day as best I can - whatever it takes, good day or bad. The other ‘job’ I farm out is hope. The oncology counsellor at my hospital said to me on another occasion - ‘I’ll be hopeful for you - I know that you can’t see hope, you can’t feel it - but I can be hopeful for you’. And that’s a relief. I don’t have to do it all myself - because lots of days don’t feel very hopeful to me.
So, for a moment - let me be hopeful for you - that your treatments are successful and give you lots more time.
And keep up with the crying - i find it offloads lots of the physical tension!

]]> http://talkingaboutcancer.com/archives/28#comment-31 David Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:13:31 +0000 http://talkingaboutcancer.com/archives/28#comment-31 <p>Hang in there Doug.</p> Hang in there Doug.

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