The Soft Spot
Oct 9th 2007PostmasterFamily
……….This is our first guest post. It’s an older post from Amanda, whose own blog (see link below) inspired the creation of this blog.
Just when i thought i was wizened and hardened and impervious to all shocks, comes a phone call that just about brought me to my knees.
12:15 am…hubby is lying peacefully in bed, oblivious to the world, and i’m doing my usual late-night web surfing. at that late hour, the ringing of his cell phone was definitely enough to snap me out of complacency. i got up off of my duff and looked at the caller i.d….”unknown.” ok, probably just a wrong number, a drunk dial, or both.
as soon as i set the phone back down it rang again. i opened the phone, fully ready to let the poor person on the other end HAVE IT. when the unthinkable words come out of the receiver…
“hello?”
“yes, this is a nurse from kaiser…is [hubby] there?”
“well, no, he’s asleep, it IS a quarter past twelve here.” (we have recently been getting calls from the billing department of kaiser hawaii, and i thought that maybe it was someone who wasn’t aware of the time difference.)
“this is his wife,” i continued, “can i help you?”
and then the nurse spoke those words that have plagued my nightmares ever since the bone marrow transplant. “no, i need to speak with mr. shaffer, it’s an emergency situation.”
all of my “how-dare-you-call-us-this-late-at-night” bravado disappeared like a popped balloon. deflated, i took the phone back to the bedroom and fought the old feelings of panic and dread.
“how bad is it?” i whined.
“ma’am, i really can’t discuss this with you unless i have his permission…you are aware of HIPPA, aren’t you?”
(at this point i became convinced that this nurse is the biggest bitch this side of the atlantic.) woke hubby up and told him “oh-my-god-it’s-a-nurse-from-kaiser-and-she-says-it’s-an-emergency-and-she-won’t-tell-me-
what’s-wrong-i-don’t-know-why-we’ve-signed-so-many-fucking-release-forms–”
hubby snatched the phone, and after a whole lot of sleepy “yeahs,” “nos,” and “i don’t knows,” he snapped the phone shut and gave me the biggest eye roll EVER.
“my red cell counts were a little low, and the nurse called before she looked at my medical history. no worries, babe.”
that’s it?!? his red cell counts a little low?!? i know that many people would expect me to be outraged at the nurse who saw fit to call about a medical condition before she got the context…
…but THANK GOD that’s all she had to call us about. THANK GOD it is not back. THANK GOD he is still OK.
Posted by Amanda (originally posted on http://cancertalk.blogspot.com)
We are sad to say that Amanda lost her husband, Eric, to leukemia last year. Our hearts go out to her. (Doug)
- See Amanda’s new blog at http://the-cat-lady.com
2 Comments »
Jill on 11 Dec 2007 at 8:08 pm #
Doug,
Amanda’s post brought me to tears. How horrible.
I am amazed at the information you provided. I am going to look into some of these things for my father, but it seems like a lot of tests have been performed, but I just feel something is wrong with him that can be helped, we just don’t know what it is or where to go with it?
Thanks again.
J. Bello
Postmaster on 11 Dec 2007 at 9:01 pm #
Jill. Reading your blog (http://dedicatedtomydad.blogspot.com), I can’t help wondering if maybe your dad is suffering from depression. Cancer alone can throw you into a seemingly bottomless pit (it did with me) and blow-ups or apparent indifference can be signs. Throw in encroaching blindness and possible other age-related illnesses and that’s a lot to handle. And depression can make everything else seem worse to the person suffering from it and to those around them.
You may have already had this checked out but, if not, have him talk to a professional. If he is reluctant to do it for himself, ask him to do it for you because you care.
I am so very touched by the love you have for your father. I miss mine very, very much.
Doug