Miles and Miles of Milestones
Aug 31st 2007PostmasterSurvivorship
August 16th is a milestone for me. It marks my birthday, which is an important date for everyone, but I don’t really consider it a milestone for that reason. It was 7 years ago on that date that I had the last of a series of 33 radiation treatments to my right chest wall. As my oncologist carefully explained to me towards the end of those treatments, for my kind of cancer, I will never hear the words, “You’re cured”. The risk of my cancer returning remains for the rest of my life. Granted, the longer I am cancer-free, the lower my risk, but the risk will always be there.
So every year as I approach my birthday, I get increasingly anxious. I get grumpy, don’t sleep well and become withdrawn. Recently, I had a car accident (not serious, thankfully) because I was so self-absorbed. But doesn’t every birthday mark the great life that I have and the amazing fact that I’m still alive? Shouldn’t I be grateful and ecstatic every year?
I have other milestones, such as my cancer diagnosis date and the time for my next annual check-up, that dredge up similar feelings. What are your milestones, how do you feel around that time and what are your coping strategies?
Let’s talk.
Posted by Ruth
1 Comment »
Postmaster on 05 Oct 2007 at 10:09 pm #
I have two major milestones - October 15, the day I was diagnosed, and December 4, the day of my surgery, both of which are are important than my birthday. I don’t do much about my surgery anniversary (the day I was supposedly cured), but I’ve learned to be very careful on October 15. I don’t know what it is, but every Oct 15, a bunch of bad things happen. It started on my first anniversary when both of our cars got hit, a tree fell over in the backyard, and I just about broke my thumb cutting it down. And every year since (for 5 years), something has happened.
In some way, it helps take my mind off the bad memories but it has also made me hunker down and stay inside on that day. Renting a movie and having a couple of glasses of wine seems like an unexciting way to celebrate an important milestone, but it’s safe and I can quietly toast the fact that I’m still alive.
Doug